*POEM POST* - "Lost in my Head (with The Negative Fuck)"

Twitter-twatter's chitter-chatter
Sometimes leaves me feeling flattened
Under a tumult of
Ponderous turds;

The neurotics, psychotics and

The poets in turn

Are all having a go at 

Expressing the souls 

And I do what I do, 

As and when I feel bold.

But all their saccharine verses 

Congeal in the ear 

Their sad hearts seem filled 

With black honey, not tears. 

But I'm tongue-tired and cynical, 

Long in the tooth

Through negligent dental care

Stoned in my youth. 

Bitter and jealous, 

Always pointing the finger

Dark forces arise, and 

They don't so much linger

As waltz into my head 

Like an old family friend,

Availing themselves of 

The Master Suite bed:

The wine in my cellar,

My slippers.

The lot.

And then fuck off home suddenly

For a wallet forgot.

It's puzzling and weird when I read back my verse

Malevolent scrawls as if under a curse

For who's spell I so 

Fervently wish I could break;

Like a fairy princess from a coma awake

And walk up to the door

Welcome in different guests:

An inner robustness and 

Smile that attests

To a new resolution

To escale Eency's Spout

And whatever the weather 

Feel loved from without

I've been to a place

Of a stillness so kind 

And I know alone 

How it feels in my mind

So although it's not always how I wish it could be 

I forget that the secondary suffering is ME

Simply heaping it on with industrial machines

Getting lost in my head of critique and dark dreams.

At times my mind's rent a 

surreal and sad space 

And in spite of the blockers and levellers I take,

I still lock myself in 

to be sure, to be safe...

That I cannot harm others or 

fuck up their lives.

I recall Robin Williams alone. 

And I cry...

It's too easy you see

To get angry at dreams and 

The vain prophesy

I espoused as a teen, 

But flat-out on the canvas

With the count going up

I still know I'll gain not

From The Negative Fuck

Who at times grabs 

The Cat-o-Nine, 

Salt and the limes

And splashes and slashes 

This raw brain of mine... 

"Who took life for granted

And pissed on his luck?

This is what you deserve!"

Fuck The Negative Fuck!

So I'll put down the trowel,

Stop piling pain on, 

(As there no coming last 

In the race left un-run)

Stagger back to my feet

Stumble into the Sun

Because whatever the weft 

Of this life that you've spun,

If your reading this now

It could be so much worse,

And whether by Heaven or 

Starlight on Earth

Your death can't be stopped

Any more than your birth:

So perhaps shrug and smile,

Have a wank?

©The Dharma-Farmer 

Oct 19th 2014