How to fix/uninstall "Palmall 2.1" unauthorised advertising/pop ups on your browser! FIXED IT! EPIC WIN FOR THE LUDITE!

I DID IT!! I FIXED IT!! HAHAHA! *swears gratuitously at the screen, middle fingers raised*

Sorry. Ahem.. Where was I? Oh yes, this evening someone in the household accidentally downloaded some kind of trojan advertising virus onto the Mac, and since then I've fought off with clenched teeth an avalanche of enquiries: how my penis was looking, how I was for cheep flights and whether I might be in the market for a Thai bride or a per chance a Granny who likes to do many unspeakable things not readily associated with the over-70's! Apparently, she is is in 'my town' tonight and wants to meet me. She never ever called! How was I to know?

On a serious note, I don't know about you, but I am exposed to a lot of advertising and temptation during my many waking hours, TV, radio, even in films, and whilst I have my own opinions on advertising and conditioning now is not the place... Oh, but boy am I going to enjoy THAT article! As I mentioned in my previous post, from time to time I just need to air my frustrations in a decidedly audible manner, and those "Nafforisms of a Pith-Head" can be found on my other blog, where I am free to as opine as is my want when vexed. The joys!

I find pop ups maddeningly infuriating at the best of times, and in addition I'm mid-way through a tramadol detox (which is what I'm supposed to be writing about now), so forgive me for being a tad tetchy earlier. I get really stressed when that unsolicited, insidious nonsense starts bursting uninvited into my consciousness. NO - I DON'T WANT A NEW CONSERVATORY! I LIVE NEXT TO A RIVER!!! I really do, it's splendid the way it is, and just fine without an underwater recreation space, trust me.

ANYWAYS - after much wiping of brows (mainly mine, but the dog look unsettled too), earning a few more grey hairs and non-descript, muttered threatening noises, I finally figured it out. Don't bother going to the software developer's website, it just sends you in a giant convoluted circle and creates more on-screen digital chaos... I was getting seriously would up and stressed out, and living with an anxiety condition, I was about 15 minutes from punching the wall. With another wall.

I'm no computer expert, and couldn't explain what I did if my arse was on fire, so here some inexpertly taken screen-shots to assist Mac users:

For Windows users, simply search for it in your "Add/Remove Software" thing on your control panel. Forgive the lack of technical jargon, but I'm not the PC whizz-kid I used to be in 1998. Honestly, you turn your back for five minutes...

I really hope this helps and saves a few otherwise rational people from hurling their laptops/Macs/PCs/iPad/Ataris/selves through the nearest open (or more dramatically, closed) window, into distant lakes or self-immoliating in protest. 

The internet can be very stressful thing if you feel at all out of your depth, and although I'm no Alan Turing, I hope this helps. At the very least, I'm DELIGHTED that those awful highlighted links have disappeared from the text in my blogs. How vain of me...

And now, if you forgive me, I'm off to find a harpoon...

Yours, with his blood-pressure returning to normal, your friend,

The Dharma-Farmer xx

Unauthorised advertising/popups: "Palmall 2.1" - Please read!

Guys, I don't know what in shitting crikey is going on with Blogger/Safari, but I've just spotted that someone at Google has changed one of the advertising settings, and for some reason this is highlighting keywords like 'KITCHEN', 'PANIC ATTACK' or even something innocuous as 'BONUS', and set them up as advertising pop ups. 

This is NOT my doing, I am furious, and am working as best and fast as I can to rectify this. I can only apologise to those who might have seen it already. I won't deny it would be a much splendid thing to be one day able to put food on my plate and a roof over my head through my literary or poetic endeavours, but this is NOT how intend to do so. Advertising and pop ups are the bane of my life, and I will get to the bottom of the matter ASAP. 

I am so sorry for this, or any offence caused.

Again, please do not for a second think that I would have the temerity and ignorance to try and capitalise on people reading my work/thoughts in such a way. I feel physically sick just thinking about it...

Please bear with me, and I hope it doesn't spoil the work I have toiled over, or your reading pleasure, if any ;-)

Love and peace always, you are stronger than you think, never forget that!

DF xx  

P.S Thank you for reading the heavily edited version, family friendly version of this post.
You should have seen the expletive-laden, version I nearly posted. If I ever find out who did this, they're going to feel the thump of a harpoon in their thorax. Bastards. But that is a rant for another day, another blog even... Click HERE for some of my more vitriolic and lively rants... It's good to get stuff off your chest at times. Be well :-)