Monday 6 October 2014

How to fix/uninstall "Palmall 2.1" unauthorised advertising/pop ups on your browser! FIXED IT! EPIC WIN FOR THE LUDITE!





I DID IT!! I FIXED IT!! HAHAHA! *swears gratuitously at the screen, middle fingers raised*

Sorry. Ahem.. Where was I? Oh yes, this evening someone in the household accidentally downloaded some kind of trojan advertising virus onto the Mac, and since then I've fought off with clenched teeth an avalanche of enquiries: how my penis was looking, how I was for cheep flights and whether I might be in the market for a Thai bride or a per chance a Granny who likes to do many unspeakable things not readily associated with the over-70's! Apparently, she is is in 'my town' tonight and wants to meet me. She never ever called! How was I to know?

On a serious note, I don't know about you, but I am exposed to a lot of advertising and temptation during my many waking hours, TV, radio, even in films, and whilst I have my own opinions on advertising and conditioning now is not the place... Oh, but boy am I going to enjoy THAT article! As I mentioned in my previous post, from time to time I just need to air my frustrations in a decidedly audible manner, and those "Nafforisms of a Pith-Head" can be found on my other blog, where I am free to as opine as is my want when vexed. The joys!

I find pop ups maddeningly infuriating at the best of times, and in addition I'm mid-way through a tramadol detox (which is what I'm supposed to be writing about now), so forgive me for being a tad tetchy earlier. I get really stressed when that unsolicited, insidious nonsense starts bursting uninvited into my consciousness. NO - I DON'T WANT A NEW CONSERVATORY! I LIVE NEXT TO A RIVER!!! I really do, it's splendid the way it is, and just fine without an underwater recreation space, trust me.


ANYWAYS - after much wiping of brows (mainly mine, but the dog look unsettled too), earning a few more grey hairs and non-descript, muttered threatening noises, I finally figured it out. Don't bother going to the software developer's website, it just sends you in a giant convoluted circle and creates more on-screen digital chaos... I was getting seriously would up and stressed out, and living with an anxiety condition, I was about 15 minutes from punching the wall. With another wall.

I'm no computer expert, and couldn't explain what I did if my arse was on fire, so here some inexpertly taken screen-shots to assist Mac users:






For Windows users, simply search for it in your "Add/Remove Software" thing on your control panel. Forgive the lack of technical jargon, but I'm not the PC whizz-kid I used to be in 1998. Honestly, you turn your back for five minutes...


I really hope this helps and saves a few otherwise rational people from hurling their laptops/Macs/PCs/iPad/Ataris/selves through the nearest open (or more dramatically, closed) window, into distant lakes or self-immoliating in protest. 

The internet can be very stressful thing if you feel at all out of your depth, and although I'm no Alan Turing, I hope this helps. At the very least, I'm DELIGHTED that those awful highlighted links have disappeared from the text in my blogs. How vain of me...

And now, if you forgive me, I'm off to find a harpoon...

Yours, with his blood-pressure returning to normal, your friend,
The Dharma-Farmer xx

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